My Response to My 15 Year Old Self

So, I came across a diary post from when I was 15. I would like to answer to myself. This is for every girl that feels like she isn't good enough. This is a very personal thing for me to post, but I feel really compelled to post it. I was going to post my first entry from April 2010, but it was too personal for me to post, and too embarrassing at how miserable I actually was with myself at that point in time. So I will simply post my reply to myself.

"Well, Angela Complainy Pants (what I signed as my name in my last entry in the diary), you're married now. Your name is Angela Bird, and you did find someone who finds you to be the most beautiful girl in the world. He's from Australia, and it's hard sometimes. But you love him, and he loves you. The guys you thought were great are in all actuality, jerks. But that doesn't matter anymore. I want to tell you this. You will have worried for nothing. Here's my advice. Stop worrying, and live life."

Low Carb Banana Nut Bread

I know I haven't posted in ages, but I have been busy! I am not focusing on gluten free, since most everything low carb and Paleo is gluten free anyway. So I am now officially only low carb and mostly Paleo. I was craving some good old banana nut bread, had just gotten some almond flour and coconut flour, and decided to put it to good use! Here is my take on low carb banana nut bread, and it turns out quite well if I do say so myself! Even my mom, who cringes at the mention of traditional flourless bread, loved it!

Low Carb Banana Bread

2 cups almond flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup chopped almonds or pecans (I use pecans)
1/2 cup coconut oil, melted
2 eggs
2 bananas, mashed
1/3 cup Splenda brown sugar

Directions: Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. Mix dry ingredients thoroughly first, then mix in the coconut oil, eggs, and mashed banana. Pour batter into a lightly greased bread pan. Put in oven and let bake for 25-30 mins or until golden brown and firm.

Dinner tonight

I had mentioned that I was starting a new way of eating-low carb, low fat, gluten free paleo. After a long day of errands (I had to go get another marriage certificate way up near Albany and then get some posted signs and cat food, then mail something out) I wasn't feeling like stopping by Walmart to pick up some food to make for dinner. So, when I got home, I made myself some broccoli, then instead of butter I used some olive oil and salt. It was very yummy. :) I find cooking for myself is simple and easy, however, once Oscar is here permanently, cooking for the two of us will definitely be a challenge. He definitely has different tastes in food than I do. For example, I can do perfectly fine without meat, and have in the past as I've been vegetarian (and even vegan) on and off for a few years. He cannot go without meat. I think that being paleo can be a nice in between ground. All I had to say was he can eat meat on this diet, and he was sold. ;) If any of you have good paleo recipes, that would be great.

Cowashing Details-Requested

I had a reader ask for me to go into more detail about my cowashing routine. Like I'm pretty sure I stated before, when beginning cowashing, you should look for a silicone and sulfate free conditioner. I personally swear by Tresemme Naturals, however that may not work best for you. Shea Moisture (a 100% natural hair care line) makes a conditioner specifically for cowashing, and you can find it at some pharmacies or places like Target and Walmart. Sally's Beauty Supply sells it as well, along with other cowashes I've seen. You can usually find them in the "ethnic" hair care section, or the natural section. Suave Naturals also makes silicone free condish that I've actually never tried. Burt's bee's is another. If you are really looking to get into cowashing, look up "the curly girl method." This will bring up several sites that will really be a great place to gather information about how to go about cowashing, and what will probably work best for your hair type. Anyway, some of the silicones to look out for are cetearyl methicone, cetyl dimethicone, dimethicone, dimethiconol, stearyl dimethicone, amodimethicone, cyclomethicone/cyclopentasiloxane, trimethylsilylamodimethicone, behenoxy dimethicone, and stearoxy dimethicone. Don't be alarmed by methylisothiazolinone or methylchloroisothiazolinone. They are not silicones, but they are safe preservatives. Basically the sulfate you want to look for is anything that has "lauryl sulfate" in it. Most conditioners don't have sulfates in them, anyway, though. In addition to using conditioner to wash my hair, I use henna treatments to keep my hair healthy. By the way, if you are looking into Wen, don't use it! It's expensive, and creates build-up on my hair. It has also been linked to extreme hair loss in individuals that never previously experienced hair loss. I wouldn't ever trust my hair to it. It's much cheaper to just pick up a bottle of Tresemme, or Suave. Vo5 makes silicone free condish too, however I didn't like it as much as I like Tresemme. I hoped this helped, and if anyone has any other questions, I'd be more than happy to answer them in the comments below!

Long Distance Marriage Update + Starting New Diet

So, it is now November 11, 2014. The last time I posted was the 4, and my husband was still here. I told you all that he was leaving the 9th, which he did, and he just barely got home this morning after 36 hours of sleepless flying and layovers. I miss him a lot, but I find this time overall wasn't so bad as the last time, even though at first I thought it would be. I got a cat yesterday! She is the sweetest thing ever and loves her new home already! I'd say she is such a blessing, since I'm sleeping alone now and she loves to cuddle up to me in my sleep. So, now I'm at six rabbits and a cat. No chance for any other cats, though, since she loves her people, not cats.

When my husband (Oscar for those of you who don't know) is here, we unfortunately don't eat as healthy as we should, since the abundance of tasty things is so much more here. I stupidly eat along with him, even though I know better and shouldn't. I'm starting a new way of eating, as I will not call it a diet and will not starve myself. I feel pretty miserable if I'm hungry as I get tired out easier. I'm going for a pretty intense diet, but since I'm overweight and it's kind of scary to me, I think I should start out intense and maybe soften up over time. I'm going to try for low-carb, low-fat, gluten-free paleo. I know this is aiming high, but I really do want to get to a point I am at my healthiest. I'm not even aiming to lose weight anymore, like I always have. I am aiming to get my body in a state where it's functioning at it's full potential. I know this will take work. I'm not promising I will be perfect and stick to all my guidelines. I'm just saying I'll try. I would like to share this journey with you, including recipes I make or what I eat. I'll call this my diary, and you are all my personal diet police. ;) Today, for lunch, I had swiss cheese crisped in the microwave, to make little cheese cracker things that my mom's friend showed me how to make. Not really low-fat, but low-carb and gluten-free. Some include cheese in the paleo diet, so I'm going to call this one a triple win. I'm not too hungry so I ate a couple of peanuts. I also just baked some Christmas cookies I meant to make while Oscar was here, but forgot. So I think I'll be naughty and eat one of those. (Oops I already ate one raw) Okay. I swear I'll be better at dinner. ;) It's my first day so give me a break. ;)

Cowashing!

~So I guess I'm one of those crazy people who washes their hair with conditioner right? Yep, I guess I am! I started cowashing my hair in June or so, when I finally did some research on how to KEEP my hair healthy. I did a henna treatment, hair went red, and I started cowashing. The reason behind my deciding to cowash rather than use traditional shampoo and condish is that I actually felt like shampoo was making my hair feel miserable even when I wasn't using heat or dying my hair a lot. My hair was getting oilier faster, my ends crispier. It just wasn't working. I tried the baking soda and apple cider vinegar thing first. I hated it. With a passion. It made my hair dry and crispy, along with a side of sticky. When I heard about cowashing, I was quite skeptical. But, alas, I was desperate, and I gave it a shot. I love cowashing, and I have since the day I started. It gets my hair clean, without stripping it. But, keep in mind, you have to steer clear of conditioners with silicones or sulfates in them. Silicone builds up on your hair, and while it momentarily makes hair feel soft, it will eventually make your hair feel unhealthy and crispy. Sulfates strip the moisture from your hair. Before beginning cowashing, I used a silicone free shampoo to rid my hair of silicones and other things that weigh my hair down. I actually do this once a month. Basically anything ending in -one or -ane is a silicone. I love using the Tresemme Naturals line, which is silicone free! If you have any questions, please feel free to comment and ask!~Mrs. Bird~

Introduction

~It all started in 2012. I met my husband, we started dating, and everything was great. Except one little detail. He lives in Australia and I live in New York. 12 hour time difference on Daylight Savings, 13 hours normal time. 12,000 miles between us. When you're 18 and someone you love says they love you, it doesn't seem so daunting... Until real life hits you. I'm not talking some Nicholas Sparks tragic realization. I'm talking about realizing that it takes only two hours to fly from where you live to Atlanta, a two day drive, yet it takes 24 hours to fly from where you live to where your boyfriend lives. When you realize that there is no definite time set that you will be together permanently. There still isn't. But, don't be misled. I am not starting this blog to cry about every hardship that we face. I am starting it to blog my daily life as a wife, and throw in some long distance relationship tips, too. Our timeline is this. We started dating and declared ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend July 26, 2012. We stayed strictly long distance until July 31, 2013. An entire year. After seeing each other in person again, we realized that we wanted to be married. Period. So, on August 19, 2013, my now husband asked me to be his wife. He was only on visa waiver, so he had to go home on October 25, 2013. Fast forward to August 15, 2014. He came again. We had no idea really what was going to happen relationship-wise when he flew into JFK that hot, muggy August night. All I knew was I was ecstatic to see my fiance again after nearly ten months apart. The time we were apart seems like a blur, probably my brain blocking out the sadness of being away from him. We enjoyed our first month together, not really expecting us to get married this time. But that changed when I decided to look up if we could actually get married. We could. I talked with some top rate immigration lawyers in the area, and we were told that it's totally fine to get married, as long as he returns home like planned and then I can apply for the spouse visa. So, on October 26, 2014, we got married! We went on our honeymoon to the Poconos, where we found out after we couldn't cancel our reservations that a cop killer was on the loose. That was a bit scary, but they found him while we were there, and we actually drove through a news reporter's video. I wasn't too worried though. So, here I am sitting writing this post. November 4. My husband leaves for his home in Australia on Sunday. And I'm not coming with him. It's bittersweet. I know that since he's leaving, I can now apply for the spouse visa. But how can I be happy when it means months without him again? I also deal with anxiety, and I always think the worst. I am so afraid when he flies. I'm afraid when he does anything, I guess. But I like to think that makes me a loving wife. The way a wife should feel when she says goodbye for now to her husband. Like I said before, though. This blog isn't going to revolve around the intricate dynamics of our long distance relationship. It's going to focus on my daily life. Recipes, DIY, etc. I HOPE you all enjoy!~Mrs. Bird~